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mawr
05.29.05 | 5:45 pm
this week has breezed by. this is the kind of life i could get used to... going to bed at five, waking up at two, eating flapjacks at four, taking a nap after that. i'm leaving tomorrow at seven am for barcelona. heather arrived the other day and it has been so nice to see a familiar face. this really does mark the end of my stay here and i couldn't think of a nicer way to go home. i have had a lovely time in toulouse. i highly recommend it. i like college towns, especially european ones. this is the second one i've visited this year and i must say it does help when you are visiting someone that lives in the city. it was lovely, bewah. i'm so excited for this trip and to go home. i could be in any one of these cities over the next 17 days and in transit in between, don't forget that as well: barcelona, milan, venice, munich, budapest, amsterdam, toulouse, paris, london, LOS ANGELES. i'm so excited i could pee my pants. see you soon!
05.24.05 | 6:27 pm
in transit
seventeen more days. sometimes i feel like i want to go home and other times i feel like i don't. it is two very different lives on opposite parts of the world. but i miss faces. i miss comfort. i miss mexican food. and not having things lost in translation. and ro bear mawr.
mean streets of toulouse
i want to make some stencils, stat. who wants to tag? CHAKA.
m o n 05.23.05 | 3:38 am
the way you did once
this is where i want to be. this is how i would like to spend my days, in parks, by rivers, in open air markets, flea markets, summer reading, sketchbooks, tea salons, glasses of wine, walking a dog, picnics, parks, parties.
i would like to know what is this mad rush to graduate in four years when i have no idea what i will do afterwards. i suppose it is the issue of tuition in part. but put that aside and let's try to time travel. i would like to avoid retail jobs for the rest of my life if possible unless it was an establishment i could have faith in.. slim pickings. i am okay with not making money. i am not really okay with living off anyone else's money.
i want it to be 1968. my heart is in one place, my head is in another, and my body is stuck in 2005.
there are so many things i want to do with my life. and if it were up to me, professional student would be the life. i want to live in a city i can love. i want to have leisure time and a job i like. it is so simple and horribly complicated.
i am in toulouse. i'll be home in 24 days. it's like i took a five month vacation from my life. i panic at the thought of finding a place to live, a job, and graduating? if only my counselor would reply to my e-mails with URGENT subject lines.
i try not to think of these things but it seems that the trouble of it is that i never think of these things. when i get back to california love, give me a burrito and speak to me in english and i'll take a bubble bath. i should be set for life.
it used to seem so much easier. what do i want to be when i grow up? marine biologist. magician. artist. a grown up. a swan. a good person... happy.
05.13.05 | 9:55 pm
s u n 05.08.05 | 12:48 pm
mamma mia pizza pie ciao. ciao. ragazzi. ragazzi. scusi. scusi. grazie. so i've been m.i.a. in many respects but it was nothing personal. i was half-dead last week. i wrote three 8page papers start to finish in three days... with no prior research... i didn't even have topics. that isn't how i like to do things but it's how things get done. today is mother's day and i wish i could be home but i just don't see it happening, even with proper time travel apparatus. but i did have some wholesome recreation today when i rode a four person bike in the villa borghese. i had three other people with me too. i got to drive for a bit. we went down some hills with some gnarly curves. and i somehow managed to bleed all over myself, my shoe, my sock, the ground. i always find it surreal to just see dark red blood seeping out of myself so quickly and then dripping onto the ground. my first reaction is just to stare at it. i only have one week left here in rome and then i'll be without a home for a month. i can't shake rome. i spent too many days wishing i was somewhere else and aching to get out of it, just to go anywhere else. but it has really grown on me. i've never lived in a big city like this before. or in another country. there are so many things that i'll miss and so many days that i don't think i could ever forget. it makes me sad when i'm on the bus waiting to get home or get to school or on the metro just in transit, constantly moving, and i don't know what i'm running from or running to anymore. i think i've changed. and i think it's for the better. but i can't wait for california love. smooch smooch, i love you.
the day i left
this day always seemed so far away but it came. i am leaving rome. i stayed up all night trying to pack all my things into my small bags. and now i'm off to greece.
i guess i can sleep on the aeroplane. but i do love summer reading.
yes, summer. i'm done with school. my finals went okay. my papers are finished. i packed all my bags.
and that's all. i love you, rome. i love you very much.
the one thing i regret is not going into the trevi fountain like la dolce vita. but there are other times.
one more month. this is the last month of five. it's so close.
i wouldn't trade this experience for anything. it was the biggest thing i've ever done. and at times i couldn't wait to go home. but now that it's finally nearing, i realize how much i really loved it here.
now that the end is in sight, it always seems to work out that way.
mother, you had me, but i never had you.
