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m o n 04.25.05 | 12:19 pm
the most beautiful things i saw the past few days aren't in pictures. but i thought if i stared at it long enough it would burn the images into my memory. i didn't want to take pictures with glass in the way. i had a really good extended weekend. i feel like the time is moving so fast, a little too fast. not fast enough in terms of getting home and too fast in terms of getting everything i want to get done, done, both school and leisure. i did a lot of thinking when i was alone on trains, planes, and in transit. if there is one thing i have learned from this part of my life it's that i don't need much. i don't need much to live off of, i don't need much to be happy. all you need is love, love. i'm going to do a bit of work because i have about a month of play coming up. and then i'll be home in california, this euro adventure will come to an end and i'll have to get back into things... the good and the bad. bad: summer school. good: art, music, buddhism. bad: work. good: working at a pool. bad: not being in europe. good: being in california. i have this new love for everything i used to find trivial and mundane. i wish i could capture the moments that i don't. like the way the view shifts of 30 windmills in a field. drops of water from a staircase that hit the ground and the splash is 3 feet high. the warm feeling when i wake up and i'm ready to get up. now that the end is in sight i re-evaluated everything. and... i don't know. everything looks different, like i am seeing it for the first time. teera is traveling alone now. but i know she will be safe. we saw the macarena this weekend, by the way. (to you: i miss/love you.)
04.21.05 | 8:46 pm
i am so bad with this machine. last weekend i was in gay florence. i saw gay interpol and gay mando diao and met some hip italian kids. i am now in prague. that's right. prague. and then vienna. and then back to gay rome. i can't wait to see teerabobeera. but anyway. in other news, i only have 3 more weeks in rome and then i'm off for a big trip with heathaaa and then i cannot wait to set foot on american soil. i thought about it today and i think i might cry once i get back to california. i like it here. but sometimes i just need to get back to my life. someone told me today that the four month mark is the hardest. they might be right. so close and yet so far. i've got 3 8 pg papers due in 3 weeks. o dio. p.s. i would have voted for the nigerian.
s a t 04.09.05 | 7 pm
i don't need much
i was in prague, vienna, and salzburg this weekend with my truest love.
so close so far
you might have seen me on cnn
three other girls and i staked out a spot in the street in front of the barricades leading to st.peter's. we figured it was the right spot since we were surrounded by polish youth singing songs, clapping, and chanting jesus cheers. i can teach you some. we laid down a blanket and laid on it.
some polish boys next to us offered us polish sausage. i fell asleep.
in rome, there really is nothing stopping people from trying to make a buck. even if they are sleeping on the street, waiting to mourn the pope.
at 6am we were all standing so close i could rest my head on the back of the person in front of me.
the officials cut me off and i was alone in a sea of strangers.
chanted "santo subito." sainthood immediately. 1 million poles were in rome. the population of rome is 3 million.
i had a decent seat.
but these guys ten-upped me.
they say this is to be the largest gathering of modern times. and i believe it.
but waiting for 13 hours on the street can make you tired. i admit that i fell asleep.
goodbye giovanni paolo II. i'm not catholic. i'm not really anything. but they say you were a great pope and the dalai lama had some nice words too.
i saw some bushes, a clinton, a rice, princes, primes, the whole bit.
i never thought this would all happen while i was here. it's amazing to witness and terribly sad all at the same time.
w e d 04.06.05 | 12:05 pm
on holiday
lots has happened since people have taken their roman holiday to visit me. i don't think i'm going to do any drugs for a while now. amsterdam is too much after two nights. gottingen germany is better if you can ride a bike but i can't. at least i don't think i can. it's one of those things you think everyone can do... but i don't think i can.
my butt was sore and imprinted with the marks on the shelf part of the bike for days.
when flora and art yee came i took them to all the touristy hot spots. places i don't even go to anymore because there's just way too many people.
a lot of people miss the popey. i saw people crying today. i wasn't up for the 15 hour wait to go to the viewing. i left it for the pilgrims.
w e d 04.06.05 | 11:25 am
these days
but it's mostly mad all of the time at all hours of the day. i live across the street from st. peter's and it takes twice as long to get anywhere in this city. i could have got out of the bus today and walked faster than it was moving but i was too tired for such ridiculous things. i heard all the flights to rome are booked full of pilgrims. and you would notice the difference. i can spot a tour group because they always have that one person in front holding an umbrella or flag or some sort of prop up in front followed by an inconspicuous queue. everyone seems sad. even i am sad. i'm not catholic. i'm not anything. they say it will be one of those things like when my high school french teacher, i had the same one for all three years, told us everyone remembers where they were when they heard jfk was assassinated. well. i was in gottingen germany visiting a friend drinking jaeger and getting ready to go to the pub when i saw the words on the screen change from "the pope's condition has worsened" to "the pope is dead." at the loss of any life, i feel like i want to cry. i feel like a shell today. i haven't slept all night and i think i might go view the pope's body tonight. i stop and think how strange it is that this happened at this time when i decided to study here.
w e d 04.06.05 | 11:24 am
it has been a nice break to see some familiar faces but it made me ready to go home. this city is so mad these past couple of weeks... so busy so crowded and i think i am ready to move on. move home. start travelling, start seeing the world and then go home. the monotony of school and this routine is too much. i'm not even doing that well in my classes. classes that don't count towards anything. today i fell asleep in the bus about five separate times but a nun was sitting next to me and i didn't take her for a thief. i feel lonely but that doesn't bother me as much as it used to. there's still so much i want to see and in that sense there will never be enough time or money to do it all. but i don't know. i'm still happy. i'm grateful to be here. and i'm a lovebird with a lovebird now. and that's a lot to look forward to.
the streets are seething. there are officials on every street and in every metro station controlling the flows, the waves. you would think it would wax and wane and i suppose that it does.
schools will swim around us
oh hello. it has been an amazing two weeks. and it has been a sad sack of moments. i was the saddest girl walking away from the airport today at six in the morning. and i cried in the metro so much that an older italian man gave me his seat.
