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love
mawr
t u e s 07.27.04 | 10:41 pm
i've been workin' for the man, man. and i must rub it in everyone's face, yes, the communal face of man, that my job is hot. i get paid fairly well considering i do so little. everyone in retail should cry. $8 an hour is not enough for your pains. get out while you can. i even saved up enough for an ipod or four. i want an ipod as badly as tony pierce. i want one so i can take it all over school and not worry about dead batteries or skipping. i want to take it on the trains in italy and put on my sunglasses as i stare at cute italian boys hoping they are stealing glances at me. i hope they have good music taste. bad music taste is such a turn off. i am not a snob but there are some things that can't be overlooked. if someone knows their stuff, only good can follow. i think it takes a certain je ne sais pas to be so completely madly in love with something like music, like art, like writing. it is the passion. it is in the eyes. i don't know why everyone seems to have a crush on me at one time. like they couldn't spread it out conveniently enough, they have to save it all for one go when i'm actually not lonely. when i actually want something solid that works and is fairly normal and what's more, healthy. i watched napoleon dynamite last night with bear. hot. i'm going to !!! tomorrow night with bear. hot. i guess i know that i really do like someone when i am actually trying to make a conscious effort not to completely fuck it up. i can't describe it but i will try anyway. i used to think it was a good sign when i got butterflies, antsy when i was around someone new. but i am at ease. and i think that is a better sign. it feels good. like a freight train stealing away at a million miles per second further away from whatever is wrong. i suppose that he likes me some. we talk and it doesn't lag. we do nothing and it isn't boring. driving one hour one way to see each other for two or three hours doesn't seem like such a hassle. i have the urge to question "what are we?" but who needs labels. i just don't want to stop.
whatever i want to do, what do you think
