n e w
l e s s
m o r e
a r c h i v e
b o o k
m a i l
i m
gogogo
m r . t o n y p i e r c e
k i t t y b u k k a k e
t h e c o y o t e ' s b a r k
t a b a s c o g u y
d a n t h e g o o s e
m e l t i n g d o l l s
d i c e y
t h i s s e a s o n
s u m m e r 2 0 0 2
a u t u m m 2 0 0 2
w i n t e r 2 0 0 3
s p r i n g 2 0 0 3
s u m m e r 2 0 0 3
f a l l 2 0 0 3
w i n t e r 2 0 0 4
s p r i n g 2 0 0 4
s u m m e r 2 0 0 4
s u r f l i n e
[ y e e t y e e t @ g m a i l . c o m ]
love
mawr
t h u r s 06.24.04 | 9:31 pm
i like michael moore. i'm gonna see that little movie of his tomorrow. my body is tired but my heart wants to go go go. like now. like tonight. like soon. while i was watching the simple life 2 last night, kelis hit me up on the two-way to tell me that mary-kate olsen is in rehab for anorexia! i thought it would be more interesting if she was in rehab for coke but anorexia is alright too. i baked chocolate chip cookies in her honor. i enrolled in summer school for no reason other than i just really wanted to take this class with a teacher that i really liked on a subject that i thought i would really like. i was looking forward to it. but i got an e-mail today that notified me of its cancellation. so there goes three days a week of july. i could request more hours at the work i am so starting to kick ass at and like but i like the promise of a few days off. oh, the possibilities.
s a t 06.19.04 | 10:35 pm
it all happens so fast. i got one hour of sleep last night. i worked from 9 to 6 today. i went out until 9. and here i am. i am moved out of newport beezy. i am at home. i am tired. my entire life is boxed up and sitting in many places. i do mean many. not just strewn around my room but in different parts of the city and in another county. it's true. i have been accepted to go to italy in january. hallelujah. it is terribly exciting. it seems that there are a few defining moments in a life that completely change a person. i think this will be one. i will be living in another country, an ocean away from california, where i have lived in close vicinity if not in the same house as my parents for my entire twenty years of life. i will be living in a country where the dominant language is not english. i will not know anyone. i will not be allowed to come back until i am done with school. the question is, will i want to come back? i have daydreams where i establish a life abroad and never return. it will be just like that. one night i'll be gone on a jet plane and you won't hear from me again. i'll be alive and well.. my best disappearing act. my mother made me promise to take care of myself... as if that was the kind of thing that one promises. she said no one will be there to take care of me if something goes wrong. she likes to worry. she gets dramatic. she passed these traits to me, unfortunately. when i grow up, i want to be amazed.
wed 06.16.04 | 1:05 am
no, i'm not dead. for the past two weeks my life has been rush, rush, rush, not enough hours in the day. this week i had finals and i was averaging zero to a lucky four hours of sleep a night. you can imagine how pretty and alert i was. last week i was doing the same tables with sleep but driving three hours a day twice or getting up at the crack of dawn to haul ass to the valley for job training. that's right. i'm employed by the city of l.a., thank you, jesus. i made more money than i have ever made for training alone. and that, my friends, is beautiful. i'm saving money for my fleeing of the country this summer and this winter. you can miss me when i'm gone but don't cry, please. for my last days in newport beach i have been trying to take in everything. i have this thing that i do when i am about to leave a place. i do it all the time when i am on vacation or seeing something beautiful. i try to remember the strange, little details. i stare and i study so long that it actually burns itself into my brain. i'm not looking forward to moving but i do like adjusting to new settings or old settings, rather. i hate it when things work out this way. when you wish things would have happened earlier and given you more time. but that's just how it goes. i have been feeling that many times over the past few days. it doesn't make me sad. it just makes me think. i find it unhealthy that lately i have achieved a tolerance that allows me to drink much more heavily... so much that when i wake up the next morning i can hardly recollect anything at all. bits and pieces flooding back when i see a certain object, when someone says a single phrase. i am afraid of what i will do because i feel like i have no control. but it feels good to lose control sometimes. doesn't it, babe?
the girl gets higher, the room's on fire
when i grow up
whoa oh oh oh-ho, little china girl
