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s a t 03.06.04 | 4:28 pm
teera got up this morning and left my bed and i was sad. i want to send bath and body works hate mail for stealing her weekends away. but when you have a job you get accustomed to having pocket money and being able to buy what you want when you want and even though you didn't need, didn't really want these things before... it's hard to let go of that pocket money. i'm still employed... technically. i just changed my availability so that they will probably never call me in ever again. and that's cool. i feel good because i still have a job but i also feel good because i don't have to sell my soul to the devil by working in retail. sure, i feel bad about not having any money but consumerism is bad for you anyway. come on, we've all seen fight club now. working jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need. i went to the beach today. i am doing my laundry. i am catching up on "me time." i love living at the beach because right when i woke up this morning and took off my pajamas... i put on a bikini and sunblock. and it's march. last night i had bopt with teera and we went people watching at a birthday party. being sick sucks because every time i drink i get a massive headache and my nose is foggy and i can't breathe and it hurts to swallow. but it doesn't stop me, no. i'm afraid of turning twenty. i won't be a teen anymore. that right there, is the real horror. does this mean i have to be... (gasp) responsible? wait, it's okay. we'll have a good party and that will make it okay again.
t h u r s 03.04.04 | 3:40 pm
today is thursday. tomorrow is friday. check. check. cable man came today. check. the new place is up and running. it was a slow start but i now feel comfortable and that is good. for once i got enough sleep. i forgot how that feels. i was out by midnight. i was up at 8 and it was one of those mornings when your eyes even open before the alarm goes off and it is warm and sunny in my room, in my bed, and things just feel good. i was happy with not having cable or internet for a few days. it gave me the opportunity to do real things and be a real person and now i am completely fictitious again just like everyone else. the stress from school has been overwhelming but i feel that i am keeping up at a decent pace. who is above average in chemistry? yes, i am. i improved my grade by 2 letter grades on this last midterm. so take that. i'm smart! i have good friends. i have a good family. i have a lot of love to give and a lot i have been given. everything just makes sense right now. i took this picture when i was walking to class two mornings ago. after all the storms, the weather has been so great. i feel that i write better content when i'm pissed off or sad but... today, things are going well and i'm not gonna do anything to jeopardize that. let me just sit on the porch, have a beer, watch the waves, and enjoy.
m o n 03.01.04 | 9:23 pm
extra, extra, read all about it. i moved this weekend and unfortunately for me... have no internet until next thursday. so go on and weep because there will be no pictures and no tiffany wit until then. but life is good for me and i hope i'm not the only one. the new apartment is growing on me. come visit. more sleepovers. more boxed wine. more bang. more new drugs. i told you life was good. later brah.
trying to hit bottom
my new life here
leave a message and i'll call you back
