s a t u r d a y 09.06.03 | 7:40 pm
the best picture of teera, ever

at least i know she is using protection.

there are like a million things that have to get done lately. but i can check one thing off my list. jenni's birthday? check checkitty check. and it is cute times three. (times three hot, lovely ladies in our gang, that is.)

there are lots of options for tomorrow. but one of them has just been eliminated. the surf contest will continue on monday, not sunday. this makes me sad because i'm really starting to get into it all. in exactly seven days i will have a hip, new bachelorette pad and the moving time will override the pro surf contest watching time.

shit, that reminds me. i have to pack my shit up. moving frightens me. i have lots of things. i like all of them. i like to have them near me at all times. i am but one person. i have but one small asian two-door car. this calls for decisions.

there are some nights when i feel like par-taying and getting some action. there are some nights when i feel like sleeping. there are some nights when i just want to lounge, braid my hair, and drink out of a coconut.

f r i d a y 09.05.03 | 11:24 pm
drawing waves and furry animals on the personals

a boy asked me out on a date. a boy genius, that is. i'm afraid of dating because i don't like feeling awkward. this guy makes me nervous.

i need to meet someone that i just feel a natural bond with. someone that is instantly a good friend... that isn't a minor, that's smart, that doesn't smoke cigarettes, that doesn't smoke pot every day, that likes me a lot but isn't clingy.

is it bad to spout off a list like that? for a second i think, are my expectations too high? oh yeah, i'd like someone that's taller than me that is also nice... kinda funny. let's see. what other specifics can i get?

maybe newcastle will be his favorite beer, maybe he will dress like the boy version of me, maybe he will know a lot about cars and like puppies. bullshit.

like whoa. does this person exist? okay. throw the list out the window. i really don't care about any of that. in fact, i'm completely fickle about the dating scene. need it? don't need it? don't really care either fucking way. i just want to have a good time so whatever gets me there is great.

if that means i am dating all my best friends at once and we have crazy mad best friend love, so be it. if that means casual everything, so be it.

i wrote my essay to apply to transfer. it was way easier this time and i think i sound like much more of a "winner." i hope the committees think so too. for the time i was writing it, i felt like i was in high school all over again! tomorrow i'm going shopping with girlies and i'm going to craft cause i got up early this morning and spent an hour at the craft store buying whatever my little crafty heart desired.

oh yes. and on sunday, i think i'm going to this. like, totally.

t h u r s d a y 09.04.03 | 9:27 pm
i am a busy little worker bee

it is time to do battle! bring out the sewing machine! it is my only weapon, it is my old friend. there are two projects, no, more like 10, that i have on my mind right now. the lazy bug has bit me.

and i am under its spell. like way way under. ask me what i did today? i really couldn't tell you one great thing that i accomplished. so tomorrow i am waking up early to go to the fabric store. i am going to come home and sew my ass off and create some cute.

it keeps me busy, it keeps my mind focused, and i love making things that make someone go "aww" even if it is just me.

i'm waking up early to beat the heat. because the heat really gets me down. it is the devil. it makes me want to stay inside the air conditioned room and watch tivo (my new boyfriend, yes, i've been seeing a lot of him lately) or do nothing eventful at all. and when i get lazy, i get all funny. i like to constantly be busy and creating making producing something to show for it.

tonight i'm working on my essay for trasnfering colleges! i think it's kinda exciting. i like writing. i like writing poems, in journals, and about myself or things i am interested in, in general i suppose. yeah, that makes sense.

i really wanna surf! but i'm sad because i don't really have anyone to go with. no one that's learning, that won't feel cheated going to smaller spots with mostly beginners. as soon as i get employed, i'm going to set aside a surfboard fund for my first own true love. moving, employment, projects, school, recreation...

i'm about to be a busy bee. brace yourself for impact.

w e d n e s d a y 09.03.03 | 10:18 pm
they know not what we know we do

if i know that something will be awkward, i use logic. i try to avoid it all together. seeing people that i really didn't like that much in high school in the ninety-nine cent store when i'm trying to beef up my potted garden by buying three plants? not good.

trading in old cds to get new ones that i really like and flirting with the guy i have had a crush on for about 8 years that works in the used record store? priceless. phew. that was quite the run-on sentence!

demetra is one of my favorite people in the entire world and i'm pretty lucky to know her and be able to see her. today we bought candy from candy station and ate it together.

i said i wanted to go because we used to do that when we were in like the 6th grade. so we went. and you know how your sense of smell is the strongest of your senses and how you remember smells the best and attach them to memories?

well. that smell of candy has not changed a bit! but the prices have. i got a tiny wad of sours and gummies and the man said "$4.70, please." i said "what? oh okay."

after the cds and the candy, i have $1 in my wallet. so i pretty much feel exactly the same as i did in sixth grade! but that is enough to buy a plant at the dollar store. and the only thing that has changed besides my taste in music? the fact that i am now legal to flirt (and much more) with the record store guy.

"lemme see your identification." "ok. bam." "tiffany, huh?" "yeah, that's me." "two 'f's?" "yeah, that's how it's usually spelled." "yeah, i forget. wow, you're a youngun. i'm only like ten years older than you." "well, you don't look a day over twenty, you know."

i charm the best of em!

t u e s d a y 09.02.03 | 9:53 pm
the fine print and the details between the lines

when i was in lake arrowhead this weekend, i was in a little shop that had lots of trinkets and native american art. my mom bought me an anklet. you tie it on and wear it until it falls off and when it does, then your wish will come true. i thought that sounded nice.

the color of the beads on it mean different things. i got blue because i thought it was pretty and it is also for love. not that i'm ready for love or looking for it. but i tied the anklet on extra tight. maybe when it falls off i will be... ready, that is.

sometimes i think i am too young to worry about certain things. but then again, how young is too young? and now i also wonder if maybe i bought the wrong color of beads. maybe i should have tried the color for health or the color for hope.

my mom has a doctor's appointment coming up and i don't even know what that is about. she's so secretive but i worry about her because of the past. i guess i have reason to. my dad has an appointment coming up too but i know what that is about. the expectation is colon cancer. but hopefully there will be nothing wrong. and everything will be fine.

i got a call today. my grandma was admitted to the hospital because of difficulty breathing. i just got back from visiting and my inability to speak chinese when there is only one visitor at a time allowed in the emergency room makes things hard. but she knows what i mean.

congestive heart failure. for a second, i wonder how that translates in cantonese. and for the second after, i don't really care because that part isn't what concerns me lately.

m o n d a y 09.01.03 | 8:41 pm
do you ever get that, you know, that feeling?

so wow! we're in the month of september, folks. september is supposed to mean autumn. but i'm not expecting cooler weather anytime soon. i give the weather well into october for that. i like autumn. i like school supplies and starting school again and leaves and pumpkins and turkeys.

i just like fresh starts all around. so today is kinda exciting. except... there's just this one thing that's, you know, kinda been bothering me. i mean, i don't know if you can tell from the picture... but my room is experiencing that... not-so-fresh feeling.

and i've been trying really hard to tidy up but it seems that the more i try, i the more i end up taking out more stuff and walking away from it because i get frustrated. i really need those queer eye guys to come to my room! they work magic. me? i'm not doing so well.

but i'm giving myself two days to really do a number and start packing away my shit to move to... my new place! as of yet, i am still a one girl show on moving day but there has been one brief offer that was given and taken away just as quick almost like a mean trick!

but i am not afraid. not really. okay, a little! but i'll feel much better after i attack the monster that has completely messed up my bedroom. i'm off to do damage! wish me luck.

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