saturday 07.12.03 | 11:49 am
sex and violence sex and violence

oh man things are happening so fast that my head hurts just thinking of it. i think i messed up my chances of having a spectacular grade in my chemistry class, my BASIC chemistry class. my brain just shuts off during summer, i swear. all i want to do is read harry potter, watch tv, smoke pot, drink a lot.

ah! i'm bad.

so last night i was doing, you know, nothing after driving home from school. but conroy's flowers called me back. if they hire me, i so love them. if they don't, i'm on the streets.

i want to be able to pay my own rent next year and pay for most things on my own. i guess there is some inkling of desire in me to be more independent?

so rick swanson and me went to a movie. i'll say he asked me and he'll tell you i asked him but we asked each other at the same time. i want to learn how to surf from him cause he surfs every day and right before it gets dark too. it was random, i know. i sat next to him in fourth grade at thomas jefferson elementary school and i remember having a crush on him.

we bought beer and saw heather (my first girl kiss) and sedhom (my first spur of the moment fling) sitting in a car eating cookies and burgers. it gets more fucking random.

we called doche. he was drunk driving back from the lbc. we smoked a little, we drank a few beers, drove to the ramada inn and smoked and drank in there with who other than another random from high school who got a hotel room just to fuck his high school girlfriend.

and what's this, now i'm going to a cabin in arrowhead tonight to see zee old posse? this is turning out to be a rock n roll weekend.

life is good.

wednesday 07.09.03 | 6:21 pm
do whatever you have to do

i really like eating pineapple. not on pizza though. i even enjoy the fruit cup variety or the canned. i'm not picky about my pineapple.

i am nervous about my midterm in chemistry on friday. oi. i have not been paying attention. today she turned the lights down low and i swear i was doing zee old eyes closed but still takin' notes deal. i'm not being very smart pants this summer.

i've read about 100 pages in harry potter today and washed the whole lot of dishes that were lying in the sink. i'm gettin' things done. woo wooooo.

i even thought about my future. and my dad said "do whatever you have to do." i said "i want to go to school in hawaii." my mom said "school is not about going there to have fun." but let's have a little fun, please. i really want to get out of here.

no more so cal please. shit, put me in nor cal and i'll say hella if you make me. (no, i probably wouldn't.)

hawaii sounds fun. i'm looking into it.

happy 25th birthday to my sister too.

tuesday 07.08.03 | 3:29 pm
3 2 1 take off

so it's tuesday. i got in a spat with my mom last night that continued into this morning. she was being silly and i was probably being disobedient but after having 10 months of being able to do what i want when i want, i don't see the point in coming home at 11 at night on a summer night just because.

not like much was going on anyway.

but things are much better now. she gets mad at me for about 10 minutes and says the same things over again and then 10 minutes after that, she completely forgets about it and brings home a treat for me.

i get itchy feet and sometimes i just want to start driving. and keep on going until i find somewhere new. i like the sound of airplanes and the way it feels at take off. i like being far away.

i really love summer. i think it's when the best things happen. long trips, no school or less school, hot nights.

i'm going to swim at armand's house now apparently. rockrockrock.

monday 07.07.03 | 5:26 pm
high tide or low tide

my elbow is skinned, my heels are busted, my bones are bruised, my neck hurts. some of that is a result of my first and only off roading experience.

"isn't this better than watching charlie's angels?" yes, it is. clearing a strip of street waist-high is much much better. right before it kenny grabbed my hand and said "oh shit." this is kenny.

oh shit is right. homeboy had hair as long as mine and poof, it's gone.

a little bird told me there is drama in the house of relationships and i said "how are you?" and she tried to tell me but her voice was shaking and i could tell her eyes were watering so we went out to be spies and drink coffee.

but i drank root beer because i was thirsty and wanted something cold not something hot and sticky. but sometimes all you want is something hot and sticky and all you get is something cold.

sometimes i thank the heavens that i'm not in a relationship where i have to fight about silly things and shed tears over nothing. in a way, things are much more simpler.

and in its own way, things are much more complicated.

monday 07.07.03 | 5:14 pm
hot blanket

c'est lundi. i took three years of french but i really can't remember much. maybe i can get the gist when reading something but i certainly cannot form my own elaborate sentences.

when smoking pot please try to stay in one place or be able to walk a short distance to your final destination. it's the in-between times that get you in trouble with cops pulling you over asking two or three times why you were driving down an alley.

but the blue lights at the burbank airport are so very pretty. i want to go back on a busier night with more flights and lay down in the bed of a truck and drink a bottle of wine, by myself or with one other person to hold my hand.

i want to go back to a hotel and swim in the pool and jacuzzi with nothing but chones like they do in the movies.

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