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love
mawr
sunday 06.22.03 | 11:32 am
it's hard for me to find the right things to say. so i'd rather say nothing at all. i'm moving out again today. i'm going to stay at my sister's house, half the time alone. i don't want to go back to school and go away for a month but it's another reason to get away from my house, a way to get out of burbank and far, far away from... this. it's really not that far. but no one's gonna wanna drive an hour to give me a hug so i might as well be an ocean away for all they know. i feel terribly awkward around people i don't know and last night was full of those people. or just people you know the first names of but you have absolutely nothing to say to them. i don't wanna be alone in that house. yesterday i had to break into my own house. climb a rickety ladder, shimmy up the roof, climb over power lines and balcony rails, break off a screen to a tiny bathroom window and shimmy up and into it and fall onto the counter. i made dean's honor list. fuck yeah. 2nd quarter in a row. boo yeah. goodbye burbank. i won't miss you very much but give me a call sometime.
friday 06.20.03 | 11:10 pm
this week has gone by far too fast. i don't wanna go to summer school. noooo. you can't make me! chemistry does not sound fun at all. mondaymondaymonday. but that is not without a good saturday party or an interesting thursday night. thursday: bored as fuck. i wanted to get out of the house. i call robby. he goes out. i call doche. i leave voicemail. i call teerie. i say "i'm bored as fuck." she says, "i'm coming to pick you up." gotta love teera vannratanaaaaa. so fucking dependable. couple kids just graduated high school so we go out for din-din and we end up at..? where? BJ's. what an appropriate name. small talk. kenny sits next to me and puts his arm around me and says silly things. russ mouths things and draws a heart on his chest. i don't know what he mouthed to me but i think it was nice. we kiss goodbye. we say "i love you" and "i'll see you saturday." i meet up with doche and go into a very awkward room with people i barely know from high school. yes, i've gone to school with them all my life until this year but never really said much more to most of them than hello, goodbye and small talk. i want to leave at first and cling to doche but he tells me he bought beer for me and to stay a little. i stay. until 2:30 am. 1 grolsch, 2 st. pauli's girls, 2 bowls with rick and doche later i go home. and being in that room with those people who played poker who still hardly said more than a few words to me... fucking weird. i miss people i know in burbank. and i miss scarlett and the girls in suite 301 drinkin, smoking, straight west coastin.
06.18.03 | 6:19 pm
i went out lunching with demetra today... then we hit trouble at the evil, evil craft store known as michael's. tis evil. i go in expecting to buy one thing, i walk out with a wooden boat and some fake grapes and 5 fat quarters of vintage-inspired fabric. i'm bad, i know. but... i think it was in the movie office space when they had that banner hanging in the office that said "is this good for the company?" and hopefully, it will be. time to get the prototypes goin'. i'm going to learn how to play "mad world" on the piano tonight because... i love donnie darko with a passion. and i love all the 80s pop so i downloaded them today and went mad. try it! yesterday was nice and a little strange. only strange because i haven't felt that way in a long time and i wonder why it takes one person, just the same person to make everything go mad and stay the same and feel good and safe, old and familiar, different and new. it's wonderful and terribly frightening.
tuesday 06.17.03 | 12:00 am
i bought this shirt for $1 at a thrift store on magnolia in burbank... the american way, probably. i cut it. i started to wear it again because it's getting hot.
say goodbye, pay attention
thursday
wonderful and terribly frightening
i like to cut
i cut up all my thrift store shirts because i don't like the idea of them being so close to my body, especially the arm pit area. i don't want to be where someone else has already sweated.
it's a weird thing but it makes sense... to me. plus now it is hip and urban and what they charge for like $50 at urban outfitters.
pscha to them, i say.
monday 06.16.03 | 11:30 pm
i mean business
i'm sorry but i'm beaming. my final grade for art history 40c is 97%
i can't believe it. i didn't open any of the 5 books this quarter. i studied the night before the final(50% of my final grade) and the midterm(40%). i missed a lot of lectures.
let's keep our fingers crossed that my other classes also went... almost as well?
woo fuckin woo.
this summer i've decided to try to start a pseudo business selling sewn goods and craft all handmade with love with my buddy demetra. it's just for fun (so we say but we really have daydreams of rising to paul frank status.)
did you know paul frank didn't start 'til he was 25 'cause that's when he got a sewing machine for christmas? and even then, he was just making stuff for his friends.
i've made stuff for my friends. i'm 19. i've had a sewing machine for 2-3 years.
watch out now!
monday 06.16.03 | 9:44 pm
chucky's day
i guess it is the new tradition for my family to go to the playboy jazz festival as our father's day present. we did it last year, did it this year. i didn't know who was playing, didn't buy a program and was just listening to it as it came. i began my morning early and went with demetra back to the paul frank sale. i was bad and spent $70 but i have the greatest sunglasses i have ever had. they are absolutely gi-normous like i wanted. sported my sunglasses at the hollywood bowl and was pleasantly surprised to see the dave brubeck quartet and... ozomatli perform. who knew? i only know about 2 ozomatli songs but it got everyone up and dancing and that was good. drank almond champagne, nibbled brie, and it was a nice day for chucky and the yee family. some random guy walked past me and said "damn girl" and i didn't know how to take it because i think he gave me a dirty look. but what did i ever do to him? i love free music. i burned a sahara hotnights cd and a sleater-kinney cd today. andandand i washed my car. some guy waved to me but i'm not sure who he was cause he was driving, i was suds-ing. then again, i was wearing a mini-skirt so i hope i do know him. like, i'm so on top of things.
