saturday 06.14.03 | 10:26 pm
pfi in my eye

google sends a lot of traffic my way from people searching for "paul frank warehouse sale." and today.. i came, i saw, i conquered. and yes, i will be returning tomorrow with the lovely demetra to accompany her.

i had a speedpass for ONE o clock and i took my sister as my guest. we walked right through the line that wrapped around the parking lot... three hours of line (at least.) we shopped and shopped and shopped. then we got in the checkout line.

TWO hours later-- hardly moved at all. big sis said "stay here, i'm getting cash and we'll go to the cash only line" which was much shorter of course. like 10 people to 200 people but of course you can't see this until you wait two hours to get close enough.

she comes back from the bank and i've resorted to sitting on the ground because the line moves slow enough and little enough that i can scoot my ass a few inches forward and still be right as rain.

bam. line. bam. guy pulls us aside asks us how much do we think we have in the giant trash bags. "didn't keep track" we say. "how much do you guess?" she says we both have about $100 worth when really she has $150 and i have $120 but he says "lemme cut you a deal. sorry about the line, we wanna make you happy. $80 each sound okay?"

sa-weet ass sweet.

the thing is only a handful of people got to talk to this guy. most were being charged by the line of registers full price. i thoroughly enjoy all my new sailor-themed apparel. thank you, guy.

saturday 06.14.03 | 10:02 pm
still no pukey

i'm all moved out of school and i've said my goodbyes. so now what? i'm still unemployed and my stuff is sitting around the house taking up space because i dare not try to put it away. i went to a party last night with my whole hall.

i planned on sleeping at my sister's house and i planned on getting there by driving myself when i felt good and ready. i don't even wanna drive if i'm not ready to.

funny. because i woke up at 7 this morning sleeping on the floor with four other bodies next to me, all snoring. i felt sick. so sick. neverrrr again.

for a minute i could not, for the life of me, remember how i ended up in that room and it startled me. i began to think mean things with mean people. but then i realized this is no jailhouse party, these are people i lived with for one year. and i was glad that i was in good hands.

the last thing i remember is ed throwing up on himself and about 5 other places downstairs and sep telling me i was straight up gangsta for taking shots slow and chasing with beer and jj and tony saying i was only girl they knew that could hang and smoke.

i do remember saying that i had never puked from drinking. and i woke up thinking those words had come to bite me in the ass. but i am perfectly fine now and still no pukey. woo wooooooo!

friendster is the DEVIL.

thursday 06.12.03 | 1:01 am
my new 'do

i know i'm being a cam whore but i have to show you something.

i'm going to start doing my hair like this. it's the new black. listen. i know a trend when i see one.

thursday 06.12.03 | 12:44 am
tiffany loves sue

there is this girl that i like and her name is sue zhou. i think she likes me too. she makes me laugh a lot and she isn't afraid to be a sistah even though she's hardcore asian at heart... little bit of whitey on the side.

i'm gonna live with her next year. i hope she doesn't turn out to be a big, mean, monster that wants to eat me when i'm sleeping. i went to the bookstore with her today and i learned that she isn't good at parking.

i'm not very good at parallel parking in super tight spaces. need to learn for next year though. the beach has sucky parking. i hope she doesn't hit anything.

but if she does. i'll run away with her and pretend that it didn't happen. then we'll have a pint or two and listen to jazz.

thursday 06.12.03 | 12:29 am
take over the world with cute

i am a pack rat. a very very naughty pack rat. but i am safe and i am at home now in beautiful downtown burbank. anna and shanana helped me to my car. without them i'd still be trying to move!

my mom is unhappy that my things are taking up so much space. there's just nowhere to put it. i have much too much stuff. this picture was one trip. so... multiply by three. i mean, how does one even fit all that in a dorm room? ah-mazing!

i went out to dinner with my art class and it seemed so surreal. now that i look back on it i hardly remember it taking place. it was just some weird mix of people eating and talking about silly things and discovering that my teacher is only 26. as charmaine said at the table, "you're still in our dating range."

so i have sorta decided that being an art major is not very me anymore. but i still love it. i just want to be challenged and i want to learn more and i want MORE. but maybe i'll minor in it for kicks.

i love crafting and making bags and shirts and sewing. i wish i could just do that. i'll be doing it this summer. hopefully work something out where i can sell to the masses and take over the world with cute.

tuesday 06.10.03 | 3:47 pm
the very thought

all alone and the walls are getting bare and my stuff is all packed and i'm ready to go home. scarlett and i took a ride with the moving carts all the way down to the parking lot and back. it's getting quiet now and i feel nice.

but i have this one big fear that is sitting over my head, crossing and un-crossing its legs, tapping its fingernails on the desk. i feel like i'm starting to get used to things.

i'm okay with not being with anyone. it's stupid to whine over being lonely. no one wants to hear it and i don't care either way. my worth isn't measured by how many times somebody says "i love you more." i know this now.

scarlett warns me that people do not change easily. and she is probably right. but i fear that as soon as i get used to this, something new and great will happen, throwing me off again.

oh what a terrible disaster that would be!

06.10.03 | 12:16 am
excerpt from poem 4

three times this year i have been a witness to streaking. some of it was okay, some of it was not so okay. i appreciate the girls because there are always not as many of them and they'yre pretty ballsy even if they try to run as fast as they can trying to cup their small-medium breasts in their hands.

in my head i think i could do it better but i'm not ballsy at all. i'd be afraid of the pictures they'd take of me and where they'd end up and people i know seeing me naked or people i don't know doing god knows what.

no more nakey for this year. no lies, just love. come find me and i'll let you go this time. i'll be sweet. i'll play nice.

monday 06.09.03 | 8:37 pm
the ways

i have been cleaning out my room and packing and throwing things away this past week because i have to be out of this room on friday. empty. dusted. everything.

i spent $100 of my parent's money to fly in october. i got roses and a smile and sign that had my name on it.

i am a pack rat. i have real problems when it comes to throwing things away. they reappear at all the wrong times. i keep everything. i don't like throwing things away unless i really have to. i have a receipt from when teera jenni sarah demetra and i went out to eat on my 16th birthday in a small red box with things to remember.

i have decided that dried flowers are a little depressing. they're dead, shriveled, dark little things. supposed to remind you of a happy day. but i don't know why people keep them.

i don't know why i do. so this is me growing up one day at a time, getting stronger one day at a time.

they're sitting in the trash can. you know, i can deal with keeping the other things but flowers are too much. they're ghostly.

06.09.03 | 3:01 pm
i want doe eyes.

i am disillusioned. so there goes my finals. so there goes my grades. the sound of failure of something falling from a great height into the deepest canyon in the earth. crash crash burn.

who am i fooling. i'm no studio art major. this is not what i want to do. this is not how i want to be. i am sick of all the pretentious motherfuckers that say "now you can go back to... whatever you were doing before."

i am so absent-minded this week. i'm forgetting everything and i think it's because i filled up my memory book and haven't had time to bond with a new one.

i really need this vacation. even if it only lasts one week. i just want to sit still and stop with the drama and the projects for just one week. that's all. no more drama. everyone needs to just be calm and have a good time.

and no more driving back and forth please. not even when it's my memory's fault. damn you, memory.

i found the warm fuzzy filter that tony pierce uses on some of his pictures that makes everyone look so rosy and warm. i was hoping it would work wonders on me.

i could date kat. she said i was pretty. and i said... i'll date you. surfer musician writing guy is never coming around.

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