it was free and it was good. or shall i say... it was sick. mad sick. no, it just doesn't suit me to use that vernacular unless i got a 40 in one hand and indo in the other.

i drove home late last night and i was awake by 8 this morning... to walk 5k in downtown la. and i don't care if you call me a pussy cause it was only 5k. you wouldn't like walking 5k in the harsh sun when all you want to do is sleep neither. it was over soon enough and i got to sit in the car again. relief.

scarlett gave me itchy feet. i need to get out and move away and just leave everything i know. i think the changes i've been going through are giving me a chance to leave. what am i really tied to here, anyway? i'm going to apply for eap (education abroad programs) and keep my fingers crossed. who knows! this time next year i may be packing my things to cross that big ocean for a year. ciao roma, indeed.

will it be university of padua, brera academy of fine arts in milan, or a semester in rome?

there's so many things that i say i'll do but never even try. but i'm serious about this one. if they do choose me, i couldn't be happier to leave and start new.

saturday 05.10.03 | 11:16 pm
oucho de mayo

i. are. so. tired.

and i have lots to write about. so many things going on in my head like this! (snapsnapsnap) so many good things i've seen the past few days but lo and behold, no camera on my person.

so... 98% on my art history midterm: score! i am zee art historian as of late. now let's just get up to speed in my art classes so i can compete with the best of the little fuckers. you would think art is a piece of cake and i must be an idiot if i'm majoring in studio art. a) i'm not an idiot and b) art is taking up way too much time and effort these days. i would much rather be memorizing formulas for biology or calculus than trying (but failing) to be better than everyone in my drawing class.

what to do with my life... what to do.

i went to a party late on thursday night. and i don't usually like being too late because everyone is already loud and obnoxious and you have to play catch up for you not to be annoyed. but i went. by myself. because everyone bailed on me and i needed to get out and see new people. i saw them. some of them were nice to me. but i still came home alone.

i impressed them with my smoking skills (no, mom, i've never done drugs) and i even sampled from the hookah. oh, the hookah. so festive and tasty and smooth.

the party got broken up by the police before 1 even reared its tiny little head and that was that. i stuck around until 3 and fell asleep.

zahi IM-ed me and told me the helicopter game was addicting. oh, don't i know it! 4940 baybeeeeeee.

tuesday 05.06.03 | 9:14 pm
i wanna be jackie onassis.

i wanna wear the dark sunglasses. i wanna be jackie o o oh please don't die.

tony pierce said that people hate charity. that sounds about right. no one wants to donate except my mommy. and i'm doing it for my mommy, anyway.

i'm ready for warmer weather in southern california. the weather is so pouty with its gloomy clouds and almost-sorta rain this week. i'm not asking for heat... just small breeze and bright sun, not gloomy cloud and mean wind. i want to wear pretty skirts and pretty shirts and flip flops and walk along the beach.

'cause you know what? i found a place to live and it's one house away from the sand. yeah. things are looking up. now i can practice the acoustic guitar, make some daiquiris and margaritas and sit on the sand with my jackie onassis glasses and bikini. on weekends i'll surf. and every day i'll ride my nirve/paul frank bike on balboa peninsula. i think i want the pink skurvy one. yes, that one'll do. i'll make friends with the cheeky beach kids that breakdance on the boardwalk and get a job at the surf shop.

i went to the gym today. the gym makes me depressed when i see the really skinny girl with the really perfect figure wearing the really tight shirt and the really short shorts. for a moment, i feel like she showed up just to make me feel bad. cunt.

but anyway. things are fine. random guy from my poetry class offered to smoke me out but i don't know his name and i don't have anything to offer him nor the money to acquire the offerings with. sigh times infinity. but oh well. things could be a million times worse. i could be that guy that was hiking alone who cut off his own arm. and i really don't want to be that guy.

i like me just fine.

sleep naked and play the helicopter game.

monday 05.05.03 | 7:57 pm
pleasepleaseplease

this is a desperate plea.

guess what i'm doing on saturday? wow!

i'm doing the revlon run/walk, raising money for the fight against women's cancers.

would you like to support me? it'd be really nice if you did because the only person i got to donate was my own mom and it was because she felt bad that no one did yet. awwww mom.

why, thank you!

monday 05.05.03 | 7:24 pm
i'm fine

guess who! let's start over again, just me and you. i'm tiffany. people have been calling me ms. tiffany for some reason and also, a lot of people have been finding my site from google using "miss tiffany"... and i recently discovered that miss tiffany is some thailand cabaret with really convincing transvestites! here, take a look see.

miss tiffany is also some teacher in who knows where and miss tiffany lee brown is another one. i'm none of those. i'm through with my dry spell. it was killing me keeping everything so bottled up so after a few days i just started writing somewhere new. but it's not cute or anything, really.

i went to a party on friday. it made me feel better to see people i knew. i wasn't even gonna go but armand used the magic words on me and some time after 8 i started driving home in the rainy traffic to make it. they all asked how robert was doing but i didn't care. i said he was fine. isn't that what you always say when someone asks that?

and if he really wasn't fine is that the type of information you'd feel alright disclosing to someone that hardly even talks to the person? christ.

i have lots of work tonight and scarlett looks so pale it seems like she's about to die.

school is getting to me. i haven't missed any classes yet this quarter. i have at least 2 classes each day of the week. mondays and wednesdays are the worst, raping me from 10-11 of boring lecture, and 1-6 of painful art. i cannot wait for these 22 hours of class a week to be over. and then on to chemistry this summer! oh happy day.

things are better though. don't mind the complaints. for the first time in the longest, and i mean, longest time i'm starting to feel somewhat normal.

cheers.

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