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mawr
wednesday 03.26.03 | 11:07 am
my house is on a corner. from my window i can see the stop sign. two burly men are slowly and painfully repainting the line and the s-t-o-p. you would not believe how mammoth large that 't' stencil is! it's amazing. oh the things i could do with that 't'. i woke up far too early this morning. i intended to sleep in blissfully but my alarm was left on from yesterday's breakfast excursion and i couldn't for the life of me go back to sleep. so i got up and cut my toenails and cleaned the bathroom. i want one of those pillows that you see in brookstone, the foamy kind that curves with your neck and, how do you americans say, MOLDS to you. awesome. i want something that molds to me. brilliant. i'm sold. did you know those pillows are like $100? i've decided that i'm going to get a job and i'm going to buy that motherfucking pillow.
tuesday 03.25.03 | 11:31 pm
an american child has more pocket money than the half-billionth poorest person alive in the world today. what a day, what a world. i forgot my usb cord at school so i cannot very well transfer the spiffy new pictures i just took on my digital. don't you wish! can you honestly complain about things like that when there's a motherfucking war going on? my life is so trivial. my tragic problems are as follows in no particular order: "jesus, i need some earrings." or "what am i doing with my life? what am i going to do after college?" or "did i gain weight?" or "is robert unhappy today?" so put a smile on your face, soldier! because as homegirl al said so eloquently, "now sit and watch as thousands of iraqi children die. you know 50% of the population of iraq is under 16 years old? that means that about that percent of the war casualties will be children." Smile, though your heart is aching
tuesday 03.25.03 | 12:15 am
as of sunday, i am 19 years old. yes. yes. happy birthday to me. but it is like high school all over again. in a good way. and in a bad way because i know that when this week is over, things will be back to the old daily grind. scraping by to get the grades and do minimal work, telephone calls here and there... that is all. i'm not sure if lately i've been extra-irritable or if i've just recently noticed that this is how i am. i'm at home for spring break. robert is at home too. and i'm really not sure how the whole thing is going to work out after this week. i like seeing him. it's like the one thing i can really look forward to. you get this small window in time to just condense everything that you feel into one weekend and make it great because that's all you have. i like planning. i'm a big planner. i don't like saying goodbye without knowing the next time i'll see him. but what can you do. i love that boy so much that it makes my heart feel like it's about to cave in. my birthday was, on the whole, good. disappointing at first because of the flakes but i saw the light in the people that did show and i saw my family and they're all very nice people. they treat me well. too well. i have too many gifts. i am a spoiled, spoiled girl. i am on my way to being... miss paul frank girl of the universe with all the hooplah that people have given me. i think they find that i am easy to shop for knowing that my weakness is paul frank. i don't even buy it for myself anymore. my collection seems to grow exponentially just fine through gifts and the annual warehouse sale. yes. i have quite a few new shirts and undies. new mary janes. fancy marc jacobs parfum. tiffany's table manners for teenagers (how appropriate.) let's not forget the opium. and you will not believe that i am well on my way to becoming new singer/songwriter girl with my snazzy new guitar. yes. i can play when the saints come marching in like nobody's motherfucking business. let's see. on friday i spent 14 hours in my car. i was terribly tired and i got up at 530.. yes. terrible. but the drive was pretty. oh. except for the dead animals. i saw about 8 of them. no dogs though, woo woo. there was lots of green. in the hills, i mean. nice mossy, furry rolling hills. and moos and llamas grazing. i listened to radiohead, bob dylan, the beatles, and madonna. it was a bonding day with my car. my car is tired. 800++ miles within a day. i am tired. and now it is time to retire.
s-t-o-p
smile
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
happy birthday to me
