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Thursday 09.26.02 | 3:52 pm
Last night I didn't go to sleep until five am. I woke up at eleven feeling groggy and what I would imagine it would feel like if I ever actually experienced the symptoms of a hangover. Somebody vomited all over this girl's sheets on the 2nd floor. I watched them try to clean it.
Wednesday 09.25.02 | 9:50 am
We're bonding. When you're in Orange County, it isn't quite as cool as being in Los Angeles, the cultural hub of the country. But you make do. The people in my hall are pretty rad now that I'm getting to know them. We just sat in the living room for hours talking. We went to dinner together. We made s'mores around a bonfire at Corona Del Mar. Then we lazed in the living room and watched movies until three am.
Tuesday 09.24.02 | 12:01 am
The past few days have been... interesting.
Sunday 09.22.02 | 12:32 pm
Two nights ago, the last night at home, on Teera's 18th birthday, I drove home late. The streets were empty and had that strange, almost drug-induced glow. All the lights were green and all the lightless houses were quiet and quaint, as if they were in a model. As I walked up the many steps to reach my front door, I stopped and turned to look at the moon.
Vomit on the Sheets
It was drama.
Class starts tomorrow... I'm going to miss this summer camp week. But it looks like I'll be getting visitors tonight and this weekend. Fun will be had.
I guess I'll go draw on Hiro again. He laughs like a girl when you write on his knees.
Long Talk About Boba
It's like summer camp.
Tonight my sister's going to cook dinner for me. Yay for not eating in Commons.
Things are going really well. And someone's coming to visit me this weekend!
I'm happy, though.
I've been going through quite a spectrum of feelings. Last night was the first time I felt like everything was going to be okay. The frat party was pretty fun. It was just interesting to see how that whole thing works. Nobody wanted to drive to the house because they didn't want to have to drive home. We walked into the parking lot and saw cars just waiting there asking us if we needed a ride to the frat house. It was that easy. They were just throwing alcohol at us. I could really get used to that.
I've been trying to be more friendly. I was quite proud of the new friends I made today. They were the first people I've met that I really like and could see myself with.
I'm still in doubt about my academic future. When it comes down to it, I'm not sure that I'm Studio Art material. At today's meeting, the girl next to me was just doodling on her notes and she drew a fucking awesome rose. I was thoroughly intimidated. I've been running into a lot of idiots. It's discouraging. Everyone seems to be a Bio Sci major and I'm pretty confident that I can hack it. Maybe I'll transfer, if I can. We'll see what happens when I talk to an academic advisor.
I am happy, though. I'm just trying to make the best of everything.
Tonight's frat party was pretty weak. We just ended up going home. It was in a club and I couldn't drink. It wasn't fun. I took an interesting route to get there though. We were waiting for the motor coach to come back to the parking lot and when we saw a car pulling out heading in the right direction, this girl I just met minutes earlier grabbed my hand and asked me to get into a car full of boys with her. I thought I was a little old to be sitting on laps but we really wanted to book it. The boys were very friendly... too friendly? Thank god it was a short trip.
It sucks because every time I go into a party they mark an x or two on my hands with a fucking sharpie. That shit is hard to scrub off and now my hands are just covered in them. There's like a party every night this week.
There's one thing that's been on my mind. And I just can't fix it. "Have you talked to your boyfriend lately?" she asked. That really wasn't the right thing to ask me. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, I'd just like to hear what it is... now. I keep making things up like he's trying to ignore me but this weekend he'll surprise me and show up outside my door. It could happen.
The stars will align.
My mom had told me earlier that this was the night that the moon would be as far away from the Earth as it would ever be for the entire year. There's something beautiful about that. The sky was flooded with stars that looked almost fake, some Christmas lights strewn across black butcher paper. It was nice and cold outside, the kind that feels good when it blows against your skin. I went inside and fell asleep.
I'm at college. It's strange and new. I guess I have to get used to it. In time, things will become a routine but at this moment, everything is brand new to my eyes. Life is so great.
I keep thinking about everything familiar and I'm not sad about it. I just get to appreciate something completely new now. I miss Robert though. That doesn't change. I'll see him someday though. All will be well again. The stars will align.
