n e w
l e s s
m o r e
a r c h i v e
b o o k
m a i l
i m
gogogo
m r . t o n y p i e r c e
k i t t y b u k k a k e
t h e c o y o t e ' s b a r k
t a b a s c o g u y
d a n t h e g o o s e
m e l t i n g d o l l s
d i c e y
t h i s s e a s o n
s u m m e r 2 0 0 2
a u t u m m 2 0 0 2
w i n t e r 2 0 0 3
s p r i n g 2 0 0 3
s u m m e r 2 0 0 3
f a l l 2 0 0 3
w i n t e r 2 0 0 4
s p r i n g 2 0 0 4
s u m m e r 2 0 0 4
s u r f l i n e
[ y e e t y e e t @ g m a i l . c o m ]
love
mawr
12.11.05 | 11:42 pm
hello. i started a new blog. e-mail me and i will give you the url. i don't know why i've been m.i.a.... i guess i got busy. i guess i just figured out a new expression. but it feels good to start again.
08.24.05 | 5:58 pm
since i got home, i haven't really seen people. and i guess half of that is that i haven't made an effort to see people. but i'm starting to get out more. so if anyone wants to see march of the penguins with me or 2046... please call me. i have been spending a lot of time with my sister. sometimes i talk to her about 5 times a day before she gets home from work. we get sushi once a week too. i'm moving into a new place next week. you never realize how much stuff you have until you have to pack it up into boxes and physically move it to a new location. i'm a packrat. but after living abroad i realized that it is possible to live out of a suitcase and after getting home, i realized it's not bad to live out of your car either. so i should be set. i got a good crit today in photo. that feels so good, you have no idea. except when someone near and dear to you says that your major is a joke and "what are you going to do with a studio art degree? paint murals on the side of the freeway?"
08.19.05 | 12:56 am
i went into the house quietly like i was trying to sneak back in. and i remember lying on the carpet on my back and staring at the ceiling. i started to cry. at first it was slow and silent and gradually it got louder. finally my mom heard me. she hates to see me cry. i don't know if it is because it hurts her or if it is because it disgusts her to see weakness. she certainly acts like it is the latter. i guess that wasn't the last time i felt unwanted. it's so much easier to push someone away than to admit what you feel. i've been pushed away enough. i'm sure i am pretty good at it by now too. the car was a champagne mercedes, 1984. my parents bought it the year i was born. i think they wanted me to be a boy.
08.18.05 | 12:31 am
a lot has happened. i guess that's how it always is. i finally found a place to live. it's great. it's perfect. the rooms could be a little bit bigger but there is something endearing about a room with only room for a bed in it. the pleasure principle. i've been reading a lot of art theory, not really by choice. it's like flossing. you know you should and you kind of want to so your gums won't bleed, but fuck, it bores you. i had the best sushi tonight. i went to the dentist too. he said i have a beautiful set of pearly whites. not in those words exactly but kind of. i've been going to bars. not to meet people. well, i guess, in a way, yes, but only as a social exercise. i think it's fascinating and exciting. and good to know i'm not always the wallflower. i'm taking a photo class. it's my treat. i go on dates with someone i have dated for more than a year, dates like you would take if you were just starting to get to know someone. and i decided that my sister deserves something more than anyone i know. when i make wishes when i blow away lost eyelashes or blow out candles or see a clock that reads three same numbers... i'll wish that she gets her wish. it is kind of a secret. there is one person i wish i could have met but they are in a better place now.
-
HAIR
well, i did it. i cut my hair. it's actually a much longer story than i'd like to admit. but my mom was involved. and you know that can only mean trouble. i guess i am happy with short hair... the only problem being that i was trying to grow out my hair for about 3 years to donate it to LOCKS OF LOVE.
i was meant to be a boy
i remember this one time when i was a little kid i woke up alone in a hot car that was parked in the garage of my house. i thought i was being punished and that was why my mom left me in the car, like she didn't want me anymore.
intellectual fields
things have been good. and oh boy, busy. i find that i am incredibly sleepy or incredibly awake. like now, i couldn't imagine snoozetown. i just want to be awake. and feel alive.
